L Attempts To A Your Qs, #3

Q: Why does fluff love peanut butter? Do u have to be from Btown to love it?

A: Fluff and Peanut Butter met during Spring Break in Tijuana back in ’77. They were young, free, and inebriated, and due to consuming copious amounts of tequila, they are a little hazy on the details of how this came to be, but they woke up the next morning with the worst hangovers of their respective lives, nuzzled between two pieces of bread. Not an unusual occurrence during spring break, except for the outcome: though the bread twins made their excuses and left immediately upon waking, Peanut Butter and Fluff hung out in the room and talked for a long time. They realized they both had a lot of things in common: both were having a hard time fitting in at universities where most of the students were not sandwich spreads, both were children of divorce, both had had crushes on The Fonz when they were kids. Peanut Butter and Fluff eventually left the room to find some churros and a little hair of the dog that bit them. Though both agreed that after their parents’ messy divorces, they weren’t interested in marriage, they have been in a long-term-but-open relationship ever since. (Look, we all know Peanut Butter gets around – jelly, jam, hell, even celery; and both enjoy bringing a piece of bread or two into the mix on a pretty regular basis). They have two children, a peanut and a marshmallow, who are probably going to grow up to have pretty puritanical values due to the hedonistic environment in which they are being raised, but maybe they will take it all in stride and turn out reasonably well-adjusted.
By and large, Fluff and Peanut Butter live a happy, unremarkable existence, with the notable exception of Fluff briefly being cast in the role of “Jenna” in an unaired “30 Rock” pilot, before being replaced by Rachel Dratch, who was in turn replaced by Jane Krakowski.
Peanut Butter and Fluff have a summer home in the Berkshires, which may explain their popularity in not-too-distant Boston, but they are loved by romantic spring breakers and polyamorous people everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Lisa Hurley
lisamariehurley.com