Gaslighting

At some point, when I am not fighting off a brain-fuzzing sinus issue, I will probably write about this topic at some length, but having come across a couple of relevant pieces, just want to share the links immediately, lest I forget later (as ever, sharing with the caveat that I am not a mental health professional, and whatever linked material I share is on the basis of personally, as a non-professional, having found it to be useful, and any other comments not referencing source material in some way are my own opinions and observations drawn from my personal experiences):

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/mar/02/abuse-prevention-how-to-turn-off-the-gaslighters

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting

For now, I will settle for sharing the links, and the following caveats: neither piece is comprehensive, as, I would argue, none could possibly be, given how varied the specific behaviors and nuances of such abusive behavior can be; and that I think one form of gaslighting I have never seen detailed, but I believe is one of the most common (and most harmful) occurs when a person does something damaging, while maintaining a pleasant/cheerful/friendly demeanor, a passive-agressive but unsubtle signal for the person who suffers the damaging consequences of the behavior to go along with the aren’t-we-all-just-happy-and-getting-along bullshit. Polite assholes, I used to call people who engage in such behaviors – psychological torturers is a far more accurate name, I now believe.

(And while I have addressed the subject elsewhere, I strongly suggest any person who is interested in the subject, or, though I hope you are not, suffering such abuse, look up “narcissistic abuse,” especially descriptions of individual experiences of survivors, as a lot of the abusive behaviors associated with narcissitic abuse have relevant overlap with – or are themselves examples of – gaslighting. Including “smearing” and the recruiting of allies to the narrative of the person engaging in the abusive behaviors sometimes referred to colloquially as “flying monkeys” – which line up with items 9 and 10 in the “Psychology Today” piece: “They try to align others against you” and “They tell…others that you are crazy.”)