A Series of Novel Imaginary Revenges, #6

Picture the person in question crying to sad music, music video-style.

This one lends itself to an endless number of variations (which I will doubtlessly end up describing in time).

If you need help getting started, I find that Debbie Gibson’s “A Cold and Lonely Night,” or “All By Myself,” (which apparently was originally recorded by Eric Carmen – thanks, internet) make excellent sad music choices for most imagined-weeping revenge scenarios.







© Lisa Hurley

A Series of Novel Imaginary Revenges, #3

Fake your own death.
Wait until they are crying at your funeral, then jump out of the casket and yell: “In your face! You miss me and are full of regret!”
Of course, in reality, this one would be complicated, costly, and make you an enormous asshole for putting a bunch of people through unnecessary grief.
But ain’t nothing wrong with a little imaginary-funerary-in-your-facing.













© Lisa Hurley

A Series of Novel Imaginary Revenges, #1

Get a tattoo of their mom’s face
because that is just a weird thing to do
especially if you never mention it
and you wait
until they happen to see you out
or they notice it in a photo someone else posts of you
and they find themselves haunted by wondering exactly what happened between you and their mom
and they will just have to live with that.













© Lisa Hurley